This one is more of a continuation of my previous post. Regarding “A Week to Remember”. You see, aside from the question that my friend asked me, I also had a nagging question within me and it goes like this, “Now What?”.
As the event ended and we were clearing up things and our stuff and having our dinner, I couldn’t help as the question tried to replay itself within my head. I don’t know why and I don’t understand either. Maybe considering how I felt four months ago, I’d say to myself that finally it’s over. And I’d repay my debt. Not that I had an actual debt. You know what I mean, right?
But as I hit my bed that night without even changing, I was awake for a couple of hours and realized something. I don’t actually recall as to when the realization hit me, but bear with me on this one .
A year ago, I was this anti-social person who worked and stayed at home. Not that I don’t have any friends but more like me avoiding them. For reasons, let me start with this: I was tired of being so vulnerable. I feel like they’ll leave anyway, so why bother? I didn’t try to get too close, or course we’d say hi and chat for a couple of minutes but it was totally a different thing. Maybe it was brought about with the recent turn of events. I did have write ups about it but I didn’t dare post. Hopefully, I’d be able to share it on the next couple of days.
Going back, I know that I was the one serving during that week but I couldn’t help but feel so blessed myself. Despite the struggles, I felt so amazed as to how He worked His magic on me. I was so preoccupied with the preparations that I didn’t realized that I was already opening myself up to others. It kind of frightened me after, but I believed He meant for it . I was even telling Him, you tricked me . Of course I meant it in a good way !
It kind of took me a while to admit it to myself, considering that we were supposed to be the one helping them but despite that, they became an instrument to helping me as well. My rational self is telling me, could that really be possible? Then, I’d smile, knowing that He made it possible . For I know that the feeling is mutual. Right guys? .
As to how it would turn out after, well, I’ll leave that for Him to write. He knows better. For the mean time, I’d like to enjoy their company and basked in their good-hearted nature.